I will wait
by xoTearDuctsCanRustxo
Summary: Now this is a very sad story about one of the McFly boys going through the terror of cancer alone so be warned.
1. The diagnosis

Dougie hadn't had the easiest five years. He'd suffered from cancer and once he'd recovered his health had never been the same he had been in and out of hospital for various different operations but he hadn't complained once because in his opinion he was alive therefore he was luckier than a lot of other people. But today was one of the days he dreaded. It was the day he had to go and get his results from the check-up he had a week back. the doctor had a solemn look on his face which wasn't a good sign.

"Mr. Poynter I'm afraid your blood tests have shown you have a secondary cancer somewhere in your body. We have some pictures from a chest scan and it shows a shadow on your lung. Now if that is the location of the cancer it looks like it could be cured with chemotherapy so I wouldn't worry" though Dougie knew it was more serious than this he'd had symptoms. He knew simple chemo wouldn't cure him but he wasn't going to tell people it was defiantly cancer. He wanted to go through this alone people would only worry and he didn't want that he would be fine on his own.

Next he just had to figure out what to tell people.


	2. The hospital visit

He decided to phone all the boys to meet him at his house as he had something to tell them all and to say the boys were worried was an understatement. For Doug to ask them to all meet at the same time meant it was either really good news or really bad and knowing Dougie's health they knew which was more likely. As they walked in they all sat of one sofa and Dougie sat in front of them on the coffee table.

"Right I don't want to worry any of you but they've found something on my lung they don't think it's cancer they think it's scarring from the cancer I've had before but I've got to have an operation so they can be sure"

"You're not gonna leave us are you?" Danny said timidly after a long silence his eyes welling up with tears. Dougie looked away he couldn't stand to see any of the boys cry he loved them too much.

"Of course not" Dougie smiled "Even if it is… that then the doctor said the size of it can be cured with chemo therapy and that's worse case scenario"

Two days later it was Thursday the 25th April Dougie was ready to go into hospital. Tom drove him down to the local hospital as he said goodbye to the other two. They got out of the car and stood looking at each other.

"What I'm fine?"

"Come here" Tom said pulling Dougie into a hug "I know you're fine it's just I'm trying to be positive I just have a bad feeling about it"

When Dougie came round after the operation he couldn't properly wake up. He felt sick and began to vomit before passing out. His friends were at Tom's house waiting for the call to say they could visit but what they didn't know was that Dougie hadn't simply passed out. He was brain dead… clinically dead… his body had shut off leaving a machine making his chest go unnaturally up and down and that was the call the boys were about to receive in the early hours of Friday morning.


	3. Eternal slumber

As the boys ran through the hospital corridors they reached the ward their friend was supposed to be recovering from a minor operation on. As they reached the door a nurse emerged with her long blond hair in a bun and wearing her navy nurse's uniform.

"Who are you here to see?" the nurse asked though she knew by the look on the three boys faces.

"Dougie Poynter… Please tell me he's going to be okay… Please" Harry begged.

"I'm sorry darling I'm afraid he's not" the woman said looking at the floor.

"No… please, please no, not my Dougie, not my Dougie please" Danny sobbed falling into Harrys awaiting arms.

"I'm so sorry… now you can go in and see him… machines are keeping him alive but he has passed on… I wish there was something I could do" she said turning to walk away.

"Wait!" Tom shouted after her "Tell me please… how did he die?" he asked tears falling at a vast pace down his pale face.

"When the surgeon opened him up his lungs were like cushions they were so full of cancer. When he woke up his body was so weak he began to vomit. There is no other way to say this but he had a brain tumour the vomiting put pressure on the tumour and it killed him. But I'm afraid this is the best way Dougie's life could've ended. If he'd of woken up he would've been put straight into a hospice with 6 weeks to live. He would've gone blind and had seizures and eventually he would've forgotten who you were be grateful that he went this way" The nurse said before continuing to walk away.

The three boys walked hand in hand towards Dougie's room. It was a room shared with seven other people the bed in the bottom left corner had the curtain drawn around it so they knew which bed was accommodated by an unresponsive Dougie. The three boys could hear the faint beeps of the life support machines meant for those who had lives to support unlike their Dougie. They heard an old man complaining that his bed was uncomfortable and a nurse telling him to have some respect as there was a young boy dying in the bed across from his own. But the words got lost for the three boys it was them and the bed at the end of the room nothing else around them mattered at that moment.

They open the curtain a slither and slipped through. They saw him lying there face full of innocence and youth. His mouth was slightly open due to the tube for the machine producing the rise and fall of his chest. He was so still, they never knew that someone who was technically still alive could be so still. The machine that was making him breath was producing a horrible mechanic noise as he lay so small in a bed far too big for his slight frame. A spot of blood on his hand but other than that he looked perfectly healthy with every bit of colour remaining in his cheeks. If it hadn't been for the presence of the medical equipment you would think he was still alive, just sleeping. But that's the problem he was sleeping… in an eternal slumber.


	4. Final goodbye

The boys composed themselves as they knew this was the last time they could have a chance to say goodbye to Dougie and they had to stay strong for him the same way he was strong for them. Because he was so young and so small people automatically assumed that he was weak. But truth be told he was the strongest of all four of them and now they owed it to him as the last gift and last thank you to their Butty.

Tom sat on the right side of Dougie's bed and took his limp hand in his. To his surprise he was still warm. Danny sat the opposite side and rested Dougie's hand on the palm of his own. Harry sat next to Danny and rested his hand upon the lifeless boy's leg. The three of them sat in silence just looking over the young boys face trying to take in as much as possible before beginning their goodbyes. But first there was one thing they needed to know.

"Nurse…. Can he hear us?" Harry asked hoping and preying Dougie could share that moment with them.

"I'm afraid not sweetheart he's gone he can't even function by himself… when you're ready let us know and you can sit with him after we turn his machines off" Harry nodded taking a deep breath before turning back. Even though he couldn't hear them they didn't hold back from talking to him. Tom began to break the silence that was not broken except for the machinery and the occasional sob.

"Hey Doug, its us mate" he sobbed holding Dougie's hand up to his face and stroking the young boys sandy blond hair "I'll never understand why you never told us about this. Everyone thought we protected you when it was always the other way around you were protecting us right up until the end"

"You were so brave Donners one of the bravest people I think any of us ever met the way you dealt with cancer the first time and the second time you were prepared to go through it alone. That takes some guts Doug" Harry whispered

"I hope you know how much you mean to us Doug. You have made such an impact on every one of our lives and you didn't even realize. You are one of the loveliest, strongest, bravest, funniest people I've ever met. But I tell you what, the pain of this is probably the worst thing I've ever experienced but I wouldn't change it for the world. You know why? Because some people are in a worse position than us and them people are the people who never got the opportunity to meet you." Danny choked out

"Hey, do you remember the time we locked Dougie in the guitar case?" Harry chuckled

"Yeah I'll never forget how high his voice went when he was shouting your name" Tom joined in reminiscing. Before they remembered that they would never hear that voice again. Then they all looked at each other and nodded agreeing it was time.

"We're ready now" Tom whispered to the nurse.

"No, no I'm not ready I've changed my mind I'm not ready to let go yet" Danny cried. Harry quickly wrapped his arms around Danny and hugged him close.

"Shh, Shh let him go Dan let him be at peace" eventually Danny calmed down. It was time for the final goodbye before the machines let his body follow his spirit.

"Goodbye mate, have fun up there won't you?" Danny whispered leaning over and kissing his forehead allowing a few more tears to fall landing on Dougie's face.

"See Ya Doug good luck" Harry said copying Danny's actions and kissing Dougie.

"Remember me won't you Doug, I'll never forget you, you will live forever in my heart… thanks for the memories" Tom whispered stoking his still jaw and followed the reoccurring action of kissing him.

"Could you wait outside so we can get the doctors in he could hang on for another 2 hours so you won't miss it" The nurse said softly. The boys were waiting about 5 minutes until the nurse came out "Quick, he's going now" the three bawling boys went and sat back in their seats next to Dougie.

"Go on mate let go now be at peace" Tom commanded softly. It was almost as if Dougie had heard and the life began to visibly drain out of him as he went grey and looked more dead. Once he had gone completely grey it was almost as if he sighed as his last breath escaped his parted lips. That was when the unmistakable drone of the heart monitor sounded announcing his death. Tom looked up at the other two and whispered 'that's it' the other twos grief stricken faces shot up before they left the room crying uncontrollable shouting things like 'I never got to say goodbye' and 'he'll never know how much he means to me'

Tom sat there a few moments just stroking his hair and face before standing up placing a hand on his shoulder and whispering 'goodbye mate wait for me won't you?' before planting a last kiss on his forehead. He was going to live his life but not just for himself but for Dougie as well. Appreciating everyday thinking about how Dougie should've lived that day too.

As the three left the hospital at 6:00 in the morning, tear tracks down their faces and heavy hearts in their chests. They looked up at the sky as it began to become light as Friday began. They thought of all the people that were waking up now, not grieving for Dougie not knowing the bomb that had been dropped on their lives. That's when they saw it a plane fly across dim sky through the few remaining stars leaving its trail behind it.

"There's a reason that's there" Harry said thinking of how much Dougie loved his holidays

"Yeah, he's probably on it" Danny said giving a half hearted smile

"I hope so… goodnight Doug sleep tight" Tom whispered before following the other two to the car. But before they reached it he could've sworn he heard Dougie's voice say 'Remember Tom, I'm fine, I'm waiting'

A few days after Dougie's death they went to his house and started to clean it and sort it out. Whilst cleaning they found a piece of paper with a poem on it on the back was Dougie's handwriting it said:

**For my funeral, I want happy songs, I want to be cremated not buried and I want a crematorium funeral no church**

**Love Dougie x**

**Ps. I never needed to say goodbye**

They turned the page over and let their tears fall as they read the poem

Do not stand at my grave and weep

I am not there. I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond glints on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awake in the mornings hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night

Do not stand at my grave and cry.

I am not there. I did not die.


End file.
